…And I’m Feeling Good

At the end of August, I wrote a list of goals for myself for the month of September. Then I promptly forgot about the list. Even forgetting about it, with a list of 9 things to get done, I completed 5. I’d say that’s still pretty damn good. I won’t go into what some of the goals were because a lot are private and career/writing things that I’m not ready to share yet, but I did damn good this past month. September was amazingly productive for me and I’m ready to keep that momentum going.

It’s October 1st, and in an ideal world, I would’ve liked to work on a new list of goals last week so I could hit the ground running today. I guess that’s kind of impossible when you completely forget that you made a list then randomly think of it when someone says a word like “catapult” and I remember that I was supposed to be working on an essay about how good the chicken is at Medieval Times. But none the less, I have to do it. That’s what new me has to do: remind herself that she has goals and plans for the future constantly. It sounds easy for people who do it everyday, but I am a person who is deeply in love with my couch. A year ago if I had been given the choice of the gift of playing the guitar flawlessly or a week to watch an unlimited amount of TV without having to get up for the bathroom or a snack, I’d probably have taken the TV. There’s part of me who realizes that a year ago I was pretty lost. I knew what I wanted to do, but I wasn’t sure how to do it and what I could do with my talents. Now I feel like I’m on a targeted path. I’m not always sure where it’s headed, but I like taking tiny detours off of it.

As of last week, I’m part of an improv group called Tick Tick Boom. I’m helping a friend with a play that she’s writing and directing. I’ll be in a show in two weeks. These are things I didn’t even plan to be doing two years ago. Not that I would’ve been against it, I just wasn’t on that path back then. This year has been a series of bold choices and new frontiers that have so far worked out positively for me. I’ve said yes to situations which I normally would’ve said no or looked the other way on. These are two key rules in improv that I’ve unknowingly incorporated into my own life. This year I’ve wanted to see a change in myself and I’ve gotta pat myself on the back here; I’ve done really well. I’ve wanted to make friends in my adult life and I did. I’ve wanted to give everything an honest try before turning my nose up at it and already this year I’ve revised my previous stance on steak and some pizza. Most importantly, I’ve wanted to make active decisions that will effect my writing. My life is full. I’ve gone from supporting Charmane at her gigs to having her excited for mine. I honestly don’t know where this next year will bring me, but I’m excited for what’s next. I’m two months from 29, but I don’t feel the looming fear that I assumed I would. At 19 I thought that if I didn’t become a teacher right after college, my life would be constant sadness wondering what could’ve been. Now that I’m older, I’m ok with that decision. I’m ok with the 5 year plan that I’ve made for myself and setting these little goals one month at a time.  I’m so happy with the new(er) me.